2015-07-04 - 8:57 a.m.
The entire rhythm of the day Friday was off because of the internet being up and down and Charter needing to send a dude out to make the fix.
Really, you tweeps should not be making me laugh out loud before the second cup of coffee in the morning.
We streamed a movie from the library about two stepsisters bonding over their dead dad's nudist camp in Arizona. An all-white nudist camp in Arizona. The script was terrible and trite and full of unintended hilarity. And the director couldn't figure out the ending. It seemed like if you knew even a little bit about community property laws (the man's wife was still living), then you could figure out in exactly five seconds how to stop the evil finance officer stepsister from selling out the nudist camp underneath all the lost neo-hippies living there...You could tie it up in court for freaking decades! It's the United States, honey. We have lawyers! But they can't figure that out. Instead, they have the girls have a change of heart and decide money doesn't matter and they'll turn down the millions of dollars to sell the resort. It's the United States, honey. Money is about all that does matter once your looks are gone. Nobody's turning down millions of dollars to save a bunch of naked losers they never met before a week ago. Next?
It's an eternal mystery to me why so many movies are so terrible. It isn't like writers cost very much. If you have a stupid script, hire somebody else who isn't stupid. There are seven billion people in the world, and half of them are above average in intelligence.
The best thing about it was the humor element of renting a movie from St. Tammany Parish Library that includes a dick shot. A real blow for human freedom. Happy 4th of July. Well, I guess.
Speaking of dick shots, a rapidly rising hashtag of the moment is #HarrysFriendIsMissing. They don't mean Zayn.
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