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let's save the NSA a lot of time and just summarize for the record what parrot owners yap about all day long, it's not a real deep code

2013-12-12 - 11:32 a.m.

Some days ago the NSA or the FBI or somesuch apparently came out and admitted that they could see things with your webcam even if you didn't know it was turned on. Gosh, I should hope so, since the bad guys have been able to do this for years. I would hate to think the NSA was that far behind the times. I've had black tape over my computer's webcam since the day I bought it.

However, during the current discussion, some people pointed out that they could turn on your microphone and listen to your audio just as well. Eek. I pity the poor NSA robot assigned to listen in on my feed.

I have two parrots -- the Amazon and the lovebird -- who pretty much expect endless back and forth chitchat throughout the day. We can call it talking or we can call it contact calls but, considering I'm holding a conversation with parrots, most of it is pretty inane.

There's the practical parrot information sharing. "Where are you? Oh you're behind a curtain. OK." "Yeah, OK, I'll get you some peanut butter in a minute." "Don't perch sitting behind my neck when I'm trying to write, thank you much."

The lovebird wants pretty much constant music when she's awake, so there's an entire category of music complete with my off-tune singing and my off-color color commentary. "You tryna find a diamond, honey? Try looking in the mirror." "Pretty sure the chicken came first..."

And of course the running commentary on the fan/photo heavy sites. "Wow, the camera really loves that dude. What did he do in his last life to get that face?" "Why is that dude's face in my feed? How is he a TV star? He's funny-looking. Why do funny-looking people go into show business?"

I won't subject my diary to the more R-rated suggestions about what these hot or not guys should be doing with their lives but the NSA robot is probably in tears. Of laughter.

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