PEACHFRONT SPEAKS

i turn trip queens, and my opponent kind of loses his tiny mind

2009-06-01 - 9:33 a.m.

You can click back one, if you want to read today's other, less humor-filled entry. Or you can just read this one and ponder the enduring mystery of, What fools these mortals be. Honestly, sometimes, you just have to shake your head, because you're not gonna figure it out. 9 players, 5/10 cents, pretty loose passive including two finned friends who have got to be two of the worst specimens to ever swim into the aquarium.

I have QQ in the small blind. All fold to button, who just limps in. Well, FFS. I raise. Big blind calls, button calls. what do they have? Nothing, would be my interpretation of it.

The flop is A55, 3 different suits.

Nobody's even tried to represent an ace, other than myself, so I make the C-bet. Big blind calls, button folds.

The turn is a Q. I have trips. Fine. I bet, BB raises, I 3-bet.

BB calls. OK, I thought he was making a move, but I guess players at this level don't make moves. He's got something -- enough that he wants to see another card. But WTF? If he has a 5, he raises again, so I'll count that out. Maybe he has the remaining Q, but maybe he has an A. Three Queens are already accounted for, plus he did call that flop, so maybe I can't give him credit for a Queen.

So he has an A? Well, ho-kay, but if he has an A, why didn't he 3-bet preflop? Because he's an idiot? Who knows?

I am confused.

The river card is another A. What am I beating? No hand that holds an A. Sure, I beat fives full, but surely I'd have seen more turn action if he had a five? If he's got the last Q, again, I'm beating him and he'll pay off, but...for some reason I just can't figure the guy out. What logical hand plays this way? Ace little is all I can think of. And Ace little is now Aces full to beat my Queens full.

My confusion is such that I am too perplexed to know what to do. Of course I should bet anyway and pay off a raise but I don't. It goes check, check.

Yeah, so I win the hand, but do you know what the guy had? Read the hand history again and see if you can figure it out.

No, it isn't a joke. He actually shows up with K4 offsuit here.

Um, so I guess he floats the flop and thinks he'll take it away with a turn raise, except after I re-raise, then he forgets he doesn't have a hand and he calls my 3-bet just because I'm a nice person and look like I need the extra cash?

At least I'm happy to know that my river check is valid, since he'd have to be in ambien sleep-walking mode to pay off a river bet.

Well, I can't remember who said this, probably Sklansky, could have been Miller. You can't put a fish on a hand. You can't even put a fish on a thought.

For more fairly ridiculous poker commentary, you can click right here to find the index to my poker pages.

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