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vegas jan 2011 trip report part 2: you woodchucks stop chucking my wood

2011-01-14 - 1:17 p.m.

Jan. 13, 2011, Thursday

A solid win today. Before I went out to play, I picked out a new stone from my rather limited selection of stones that has accompanied me on this trip. Today, I used the Kentucky Agate for the card protector. As a back-up plan, in case anyone volunteered to purchase my Kentucky Agate, I also carried a "Stinking Water" polished white plume agate cabochon. I'm pretty sure that no one is going to buy something called "Stinking Water" and leave me card protector-less.

Where are the calling stations of yesteryear? On my first table, on my first half hour, I had a dream run, where I hit every flop and turned or rivered every draw. Alas, I was at a table full of nits and "contrary men" who had no intention of paying anyone off. I won a lot of money, but nothing like what I would have won if I'd been getting cards like that yesterday. However, I did get a double-up of my original starting stack almost right away, thanks to this hand:

Sorry, Wrong Answer, but Thanks for Playing...

I'm in the small blind with A ♥ 8 ♦ -- some random has limped in, Moody (the same one I stacked yesterday) limps in, I complete, big blind checks. 4 players. $20. Effective stacks are Moody's since he has around $375, a bit less than I start with.

Flop: A ♦ 8 ♥ Q ♣

I have flopped top and bottom. It's a little dangerous because Moody pretty much never raises before the flop -- in this session alone, I counted that he limped in with AK a total of 5 times and AQ one time -- so I know that he can have AQ. But, for these stack sizes, I'm not going to worry about his tricky and deceptive ways. I'm just looking to get it all-in. There's some betting and raising and re-raising, and he finally says, as he always does when he shoves, "Ah hell, let's go all-in." Call. The turn and the river are irrelevant, and my A8 cracks his AK. I'm afraid he verbally abused me a bit, but I just tried to laugh it off (although I never know if laughing will make it worse), but you get the idea. I try to take it all in good humor, pretending I think he's joking. He's just in one of his moods, and who knows why. He's got plenty of money, so I just put it down to ego. Or bad brain chemistry. Or, ah hell, let's just blame the parents.

Moody is in Seat 1. And now everyone but me has the slow-playing disease. Like they see it working so well? Another nitty regular turns quad Jacks and never makes a bet. I guess he hopes to induce a bluff from somebody. He doesn't. He's in seat 2. Some dude in seat 4 tries the same thing when he turns quad Queens. Again, no takers. A young black guy all dressed up in Ed Hardy drag down to red and green flowered rhinestone sunglasses and a sequin hoodie -- he's more Vegas than me on my best leather days -- tries it when he flops a set of Aces. He makes $20 on the move. Wouldn't you expect a guy dressed like that to be a more aggressive player?

The only guy who got any benefit at all to the slow-playing disease was the dude I'll call Preacherman, because his hustle is (as he explained) that he formed his own church, so that he gets a tax-free salary from his church every week and plays poker 40 hours a week at his local room. I've moved seats, and this character is now immediately to my left. I'm almost the only person at the table with the stones to make a pre-flop raise, and I do so with A ♥ J ♥ and Preacherman smooth-calls. There's an Ace high, two diamond flop, and he sticks around after I bet it, and not because he's an experienced internet "float the flop" type kid. I know the score right then and there, but I call another bet on the turn, because I'm not gonna give up top pair, no kicker, just on a hunch. A Queen of diamonds falls, which now fills the flush and also allows AQ to pass up AK. He would never in a million years have the stones to bet this board with AK, so I check with confidence, and he checks it back, and I get a cheap showdown. Yah, he has AK, and he takes that pot, but I don't see the theory of sneaking in with AK and stacking somebody being a very good theory at that table.

Oh, and here's a funny one. There's a know-it-all nit at the table who always tries to explain everybody's play to everybody, including to the person themselves. Check out this hand:

Robbery Without a Gun and a Mask

I pick up A ♦ J ♦ in under-the-gun plus 1. The hand plays well multi-way, and there was been a lot of pre-flop limping, with several 7 player pots, so I decide to limp and see what opportunity might rear its ugly head. Fold. An unskilled player who thinks you should raise every time you enter a pot, even though he's not playing Limit Hold 'Em anymore, makes it $20 to go. The nit who understands that the unskilled player's raise means nothing about hand-strength calls. Button calls because he's on the button. Blinds fold. The pot now holds $70, and it's back to me. I think and make it $100 to go.

Now all Holy Heck breaks loose. The nit shouts, "I know you have a big hand, Mary. Now I can't call. You have three tells, and I just saw two of them." Um, never mind that the dumb-ass between us hasn't acted yet? Maybe we should all play in order? But finally dumb-ass folds, and the nit folds, and the button wiggles around in his seat for a bit and finally folds. I try to look disgusted as I collect my steal.

"What tells? I guess limp-re-raising is a pretty obvious tell, if you consider that a tell."

"That's not a tell. I'm not going to tell you."

I just snicker quietly to myself and go on with my day. Yeah, dude, you read me like a book. One that's written in Sanskrit.

OK, one more steal from this table full of turkeys just begging for their pockets to be picked. I have a $780 stack by this point. I pick up T ♠ 8 ♠ in an early position. I'm not advising anyone to play the hand, and most of the time, it's a fold OOP, but come on. These chumps are asking for it. Enjoy:

Stealing Out of Position -- Not Just for Breakfast Anymore

I open for $20, a middle position player calls, button calls. $65 in the pot, 3 players.

Flop: 2 ♠ 3 ♣ 3 ♦

There is nothing on this flop that anyone has hit or that anyone can fold to. Checks around.

Turn: 9 ♠

There it is. I have picked up the flush draw. If that isn't the extra top secret hint that I should go ahead and steal this pot, what is? I bet $40. Middle dude folds, button calls. $145 pot.

River: K ♦

I have nothing but testosterone and I don't need a lot of that. I bet $100, and he folds without any fuss.

For the dinner break it's IMOM turn to spew his comps at Noodle Asia, where we split Sesame Shrimp Rolls, Won Ton Soup, "Chef's Special" Orange Beef. Yummy.

I didn't make as much on my second table of the night, even though it was filled with tourists, because I wasn't catching, but I did OK. I made some pretty easy reads. For instance, there was a nit at the table who identified himself as a nit or even a nit-mouse because 1) he never played a hand, and 2) he told us that the only place he eats in Vegas, "the place all the locals go," is Ellis Island where you can get a steak of the finest rubber for only $7 with the baked potato thrown in. (I might have enhanced his words a tad.) I get the secret hidden signal to steal raise a string of limpers from the small blind with 7 ♠ 5 ♠ and he now three-bets from the big blind. Of course, we all fold. When it get backs to me, I say, "Never call a three-bet from the man who dines at Ellis Island." Not in a mean way. It was sort of a laughing, joking table, and he showed me that my fold was good, since he held A ♥ K ♥ -- the only non-pair hand he's ever 3-betting.

Later he asked me if I'd ever seen a Lewis' Woodpecker, and I said, yes. He said he'd seen one his whole life, and now he was going blind. So I told him where I thought he could get a lot of them this spring. Very sad what time does to us.

A notable drunk, a Cherokee maybe from Oklahoma, was just spewing off his money with hopeless bluffs. I had bad relative position, but I managed to pick off a couple, including a three-way all-in. He was short, and the other guy was too, but it made a decent addition to the bottom line. The Cherokee was obsessed with that woodchuck commercial and would randomly shout out, from time to time, "You woodchucks stop chucking my wood!"

My final big hand of the night was a limp/4-bet before the flop with red Aces. The three bettor thought for a very long time, called, then folded on a low card flop, even though I bet only half pot to induce her to continue. Still, I picked up a nice pot here thanks to the pre-flop action.

Since IMOM and I both had healthy wins today, it was a great winning day for the team. I had awful dreams though. Just awful. For this trip, I have decided not to have any nightcaps before going to sleep, only a drink with dinner, and since I've been playing after dinner, I haven't been drinking. I thought some of the bad dreams might be caused by alcohol but maybe not. At least I don't wake up QUITE as grouchy when I don't have a nightcap. So I'm going to continue with the experiment and see how it goes.

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