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A bibliography of my published books and stories.

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dracula doesn't drink tequila, honey

2013-12-10 - 9:18 a.m.

My alarm today decided to go off and then play one of my songs. I'm thinking, well, I don't know how I did that, but that's pretty cool. Then the song went off and some rap tune about a social-climbing braggart came on (not the one you're thinking, a previously unknown one to me, there are evidently a GREAT MANY social-climbing braggarts in rap) and I had to turn that off pretty darn fast. WTF? There's no way that POS excuse for entertainment is on my phone.

You guessed it. Somehow my alarm was set to turn on Vevo, which then sucked me in by playing something they know I liked before hitting me with whatever bullshit they're selling today.

And I still don't know how I or they did that. But if it happens again, I'll be ready to hit that button fast.

I can't figure out what "fan" of Alex Turner would have been taken in by the latest Twitter death hoax. The guy can't be constantly stammering his way through awkward interviews, posing with fans, and performing in nonstop Christmas concerts AND be dead. We're ass-deep in instagrams and youtubes from this weekend, so...ya know? I don't think too many people thought the rumor was anything more than a tacky joke.

The Mirror and other dubious media sources say they can't figure out how the rumor started. But I've got a pretty good idea. A few days ago on Tumblr, a blogger got high and spun out a wild story about how Alex Turner had been killed in an accident after the release of Favourite Worst Nightmare and in desperation his record label replaced the deceased with a lookalike. Some people might even say that the lookalike was a looked -a-lot-hotter but either way he had the baggage you might expect from a hot androgynous guy appearing in a fanfic, heh. It was pretty hilarious. And it wasn't in the least bit meant to be believable. It was a riff on the old "Paul is dead" thing.

So my theory is that someone saw that story and decided to move it over to Twitter on the anniversary of John Lennon's assassination, which was Sunday. Tacky, tacky, tacky. The poor blogger seems a bit abashed and has distanced himself from his creative effort. Can't really blame him.

A completely unrelated and more believable rumor is a report from NBC-New York that an unnamed source said that JFK airport had killed two Snowy Owls and had given orders to kill any more that drifted in. I hope it isn't true. It's almost certainly illegal if it is true. On Twitter, Massachusetts Audubon posted a link about the program at Logan (BOS) airport and how BOS hires an expert with a special permit to safely remove the Snowy Owls from the airport. They didn't directly address the JFK rumor but I bet they're wondering about it too...

I signed a petition to have it investigated. If it's a hoax, no harm done. If it's for real, it needs to stop.

This rumor may have been confirmed, denied, or otherwise responded to by now but...if it has, I haven't seen what the Port Authority has to say for themselves.


The Port Authority told NBC this morning that they are moving immediately to a trap and release program. They say they do hold a federal permit but they won't deny or confirm whether they killed any owls at JFK this weekend. NBC's Today said that under the terms of their permit they must reveal if they killed any owls by the end of today.

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