PEACHFRONT SPEAKS

Recent entries july 4, 2018 - 2018-07-04 the triangle continues of courtney, boobear, & nyota - 2018-07-03 Cookie so cute telling, "Hello" to sparrows - 2018-07-01 lovebirb in love - 2018-06-30 wren with fluffffff - 2018-06-24 Read my new book, The 10 Best Things You Can Do For Your Bird at Amazon or at many other fine distributors like Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Kobo, and more. By public demand, and after a delay of an embarrassing number of years, I've finally put my notorious essay, Ender and Hitler: Sympathy for the Superman, free on the fabulous internets. A bibliography of my published books and stories. Here's a simple card-counting FAQ to get you up to speed on the basics. Here's the true story of the notorious DD' blackjack team, told for the first time on the fabulous internets. No other team went from a starting investor's bankroll of zero to winning millions of dollars. A Sadean take on Asimov's classic Three Laws of Robotics can be found in Roger Williams' NOW REVIEWED ON SLASHDOT!!! The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect. Adult readers only please -- explicit sex and violence. For updates on the "Dead Tree Project" and other topics, you may visit the official fan site, Passages in the Void.. My Bird Lists -- My Louisiana State Life List, My Yard List and, tah dah, My World Life List. HEY! What happened to the Peachfront Conure Files? The world's only OFFICIAL Peachfront Conure site now features free peachfront conure coverage, including a magazine length Intro to Conures previously published in American Cage-Bird Magazine, now free on the web. I offer the best free Peachfront Conure information on the internet. If you have great Peachfront Conure info, stories, or photos to share, contact me so I can publicize your pet, your breeding success, your great photograph, etc. on my site. Thanks.

sometimes you see something and you know right away it won't have a happy ending, and that's the story of the happy blissful armadillo strolling along on a bright sunny day along I-10 2010-01-04 - 12:02 p.m. I saw an armadillo strolling beside the interstate yesterday at high noon. No, really, a live one. I've probably seen a dead one once or twice a week for years, but I can't remember the last time I've actually seen one out walking around. Three humor hands from Saturday at 1/2 NL. Hand One Sooted 76 might be my new favorite hand, after it paid me off so nicely here and and in Vegas I have 67 ♣ in the small blind. Maybe five people limp in, I toss in a chip to complete, big blind checks. I have around $200, the Official Patented Table LagtardTM has me covered, and the other people have random amounts of money in between. The flop is 345 rainbow, one ♣. Yay me, peoples, I has flopped the nuts. Now how to get any kind of money in the pot while I'm still ahead? I figure the lagtard can be counted on for a raise if I get things started, so I lead out by betting $10. He min-raises to $20, we pick up a fold or two along the way, button calls $20, and it's back to me. There is now $60 in the pot. Much better. Again, I bet the pot -- another $60. Lagtard now raises to $150 -- in other words, he's putting me all-in. Button is now forced to fold. The guy could have anything, such as a wheel, a straight to the six (yes, that means he could have 62 sooted, trust me, he was playing pretty ATC), a straight to the seven (tying me), or, most likely, a set. Turn is 2 ♦ River is 5 ♠ My heart sinks for a minute, because any set just filled up at a minimum. However, after I flip over my 7 high straight, he shows the 72 of ♦ and then mucks with a grumble. I guess his play wasn't terrible, since he was drawing to an open-ender, but little did he know that half of his outs were already counterfeited -- and that the best he could do was hope for a six so that we could split the pot. Of course, coming in with the mighty 72 of "hey it's sooooooted" in early position is pretty terrible to begin with. Anyways, I quickly more than doubled up at that table, lagtard re-bought and spewed that away in about five minutes and then slunk off, and then my stacks were too deep and it was time to head for the next casino. Hand Two Every table has its own official Patented Table LagtardTM Before I describe this hand, let me muse for a minute on something I've been thinking about for awhile. We all know that there's any number of reasons why poker is really terrible for your character, but one of the most glaring and obnoxious reasons is because it feeds into all your secret little evil prejudices and stereotypes. If you have to make a quick decision, and you've never seen the person before, you have to make judgments based on, "Hmmm, Asian, probably been gambling all his life and prides himself on his powers of deception and the ability to cloud men's minds," "Hmmm, old white dude equals total NIT in all caps," "Hmmm, young white chick, idiot," and so on. When you have nothing to base a decision on, you fall back on prejudice, because it beats sitting there for ten minutes going, "what to do, what to do?" So, in re the maniacs of this world: At 20/40 and 30/60, then I'd have to say that the overwhelming majority of spew monkey/ maniacs I've seen have been middle-aged dudes, and usually middle-aged dudes with accents. They've been deep South Delta white, Korean, Dutch, and a variety of colorful middle-eastern ethnicities that I don't try to get into unless they, themselves, first bring up the fact that they were born in Iraq, Iran, or Lebanon (all actual examples I can call to mind from the 30/60 game) and simply don't have any reason to fear throwing money around, presumably because life has taught them that they can be dumped in a strange country and always find more. Not old, not young, and not women. Sure, middle-aged women spew, but in a different way, by running you down and never ever folding their underpair to the evidence that they're beat. Well, in the short time I've played 1/2 NL, and maybe it's something about the game itself, but I've already noticed that there seem to be more different types of maniacs. Young Asian dudes, sure, that just goes without saying. But I've now seen a little old grey-haired white lady in her 70s come out barreling like she thinks she died and came back as Dirty Harry. It really does take all kinds. At this particular table, the table bully was a young pretty Asian girl who was probably in her 20s or maybe (because Asian skin holds up some well) in her early 30s. Don't get me wrong. This wasn't a wily, sophisticated young Asian girl who was brought up at the Commerce Casino to massage the crowd for their last dollar while looking all sweet and innocent. This was a pitiful, pathetic pre-flop maniac girl who would try to open or steal-raise every pre-flop for $15, but in the face of any kind of aggression, she would forget to fold what started as a steal, and she'd pay you off all the way. Today, she was getting lucky on the river again and again, which is how she ended up with about a $1,600 stack. But she was truly, amazingly hopeless. At this time I myself had experienced very little variance, because I hadn't gotten any cards for years, so hadn't been involved in many hands. Keep in mind that she'd been playing with me for about four hours and should have noticed that I was playing tight, but whatever. She wasn't observing anybody else. The star of the show was the maniac, and it was all about, "Look at me me meeeeeee!" Another Asian, maybe early middle-aged, woman -- a classic calling station with about a $300 stack -- was sitting where she always immediately acted after her. So Lagtard open-raises to $15, calling station calls, and it gets to me in the small blind where I have KQ ♥. There's a relatively tiny chance that my hand is best at the moment, but against these two characters, it will sure as hell be easy to play -- and highly profitable against their stacks if I hit big. I wouldn't mind taking it down right now, but I know that I have no fold equity against the maniac. She won't fold pre-flop, so I'm playing strictly looking for implied odds against whatever random cards she happens to hold. I raise to $45, she calls because that's what she does, and the other lady says "too much" and folds. The pot is already $105. The flop is QJT, two ♠ so I've flopped top pair with a re-draw to the nuts. I've over-betting a little, because I actually have about $150 left in my stack, but I know from observation that the calling station will call with any little piece. And if she rivers me with her 74 ♠ like she just did with the other guy, heck, I want her to at least pay a nice price for the privilege. Of course she calls. I was never in any doubt that she would call. Turn is something like a 7, river is a 9. I'm the winner with a King high straight. Turns out she flopped the stupid end of the straight. Although she was by accident actually ahead on the flop with her 98 ♦ it seems like she could have gotten away cheaper. Look at the action again. I have AK in that situation lots of times, and she's drawing dead. But she's just looking at, wow, how do I come from nowhere and hit an 8 outer with only two cards left to come? She was just shaking her head like this was such a strange and unusual outcome that should never happen. Hand Three because otherwise you won't believe how terrible this player really was The IMOM had already racked up and was observing this hand, but he didn't see when she flashed her cards, nor had he observed the hours of previous action against this chick, so he was mystified by the play of the hand. Here's my reasoning, for what it's worth. I have AJ offsuit in middle position. Maybe a $300 stack now, Maybe she's got $1,300 left. If I limp in, she raises to $15, everybody calls because she's the raiser who has any kind of a hand, so I have to fold my dominated ace even though she might be raising with 64 offsuit. If I raise $15, only she will call, unless another player wakes up with a hand, so I'll have a better idea of where I stand. So I raise. She calls, everybody else folds. Perfect. We're heads-up. Flop is J44, rainbow. There's $30 in the pot. I have top pair, and she'll call me down with any little piece or no piece. I bet $25. She calls. Turn is who cares, but we'll say an 8. There's $80 in the pot, and she's still a station, and I still have top pair, best kicker. I bet $30. She calls. The river is a 9. If I knew what she had, I'd even value bet again, but it's the "you can't put a fish on a hand" principle, so I check to see what she does. She shows down A9 ♦ and I take the pot. Yeah, so she called my flop and turn bet with no pair and just a dominated A overcard. She was drawing damn slim pre-flop and on the flop, and she was dead on the turn. And if she'd actually hit her dominated A on the river, based on prior evidence, she would have called a pot-sized bet for sure. There's no way she pours all that money in to hit her A and then she folds. But, as it is, I certainly can't complain about the size of the pot I dragged. Holy cow, batman, why can't they all play like that? Unfortunately, very often, it's one huge lagtard to a table. It's like they space themselves out, in their own little territories, because the whole point of playing that way is to be the center of attention. And if there's two lagtards on the table, then the fun's over -- it's the "this town ain't big enough for the two of us, boy" principle. For more ridiculous poker plays, visit my index by checking right here. back - next All Rights Reserved, Copyright 2002-2017 by Elaine Radford