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my opposite day

2010-04-09 - 10:33 a.m.

I found the mother lode of big stupid action at the W yesterday, which surprised me, because I heard the poker room was dying. Well, not last night. If I ever made a big hand, I was going to get paid sooooooo much. Unfortunately, I never had the good luck to get involved in a hand where the other guy had anything. Heck, all I showed down was steals, and by "show down" I don't mean I made it to showdown and got caught bluffing. I mean that I'd pull off some big bluff and make some excuse to flash it. So I had my trap carefully in place and was ready to actually hit something and have somebody come after the compulsive kleptomaniac...and then the wild and crazy drunks either went to the bigger game or went to dinner. Oh well. Strange, for a loose game, but my entire profit for the day was from steals and squeezes.

My best steal came from a hand where I had 7 ♠ 6 ♦ on the button. Raise to $10, call, I call, both blinds call. I'm not advising anyone EVER to play an offsuit medium connector, after only one caller, but the raise was a joke and from a player who was easy to read, and I had perfect steal position. No one else could steal at this table, but I could. Maybe it's also because I was a white middle-aged female unknown to the other players, so I had a tight image despite myself? I have maybe $600, and everyone has got me waaaaay covered, except for the raiser. Pot is $50. I'm not particularly concerned with stack to pot ratio with a hand I'm playing primarily for steal equity, with the possible pay-off bonus of sometimes hitting a well-disguised straight and getting paid off big, but it's 12. So what. I already know I'm not getting all in with this hand unless something major happens.

Flop: 3 ♥: 5 ♣ 3 ♦

The min-raiser quite likely had a random suited connector and is now out of the hand. I have no real reason to assume that this board hit any of my four opponents. It checks to me and, since the board is paired with low cards, I take that as the secret signal to bet half pot. I also have the gutshot to the nut straight, so I have outs if I do get a call. I get two -- from the loose small blind and then from the kinda quiet big blind.

The turn is some random card like J ♠

Here's where I mess up. When it's checked to me on the turn, I check behind. I think I would do much better by betting again and taking it down right now. Why give these dudes a chance to see another card? At the moment, they've got squat because, at this table, if they had ANYTHING, they'd be check/raising the crap out of me. My implied odds for catching my straight are zilch, because they have nothing to pay me off with. Just fire the second barrel and move onto the next hand. Elementary, my dear Watson.

But for some reason I do make this idiotic check, and the river is whatever it is, I think the K ♣

Again, they both check to me, and now I wake up and do what I should have done all along. There's $125 in the middle and I fire two-thirds pot, and they both fold. So I didn't end up paying for my bad play on the turn. In fact, I flashed my hand with a friendly giggle to the drunk small blind, and we all got a laugh. How to win with 7 high. And that concludes today's poker lesson...

"I like you," said my drunk friend. "You don't play like a girl."

So that's my weird day. Stealing from loose players at the W, and actually flopping a real hand at a table full of nits at the V -- a set of nines versus my opponent's AK top two pair -- and getting a whole (unfortunately rather short) stack from a tighty. So it was opposite day for me, but I did turn a profit, and I joined up with IMOM for a late dinner at the unknown steakhouse, where I ate more than I intended.

As for poker advice, I can't imagine that anyone is reading this blog for genuine advice and wisdom, but just in case...do as I say and not as I do. You'll quickly go broke trying to bluff loose players, especially the calling stations, unless you can read their hands and pick your spots very well.

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