PEACHFRONT SPEAKS

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a set of deuces 2010-05-27 - 11:47 p.m. A good day for me. I had dinner plans for 6:30, so I decided to make an early start on the day. I don't do mornings, so I says to myself, says I, let's get warmed up by playing some 1/2 and guzzling the free coffee at the V. To my surprise, there was actually a young Irish man who had much more than a clue. Since I was to his immediate left, I could stay out of his way (most of the time) and just watch his moves in action, but of course there were those inevitable times when we tangled. Frankly, the two of us were just pushing rake around, but I did take a profit -- he took a larger one -- from the table. We were both playing a somewhat laggy style to take advantage of the weak-tights and the easily readable calling stations at the table, but the difference between us was that he was actually making showdownable hands over fist, flopping sets, full houses, you name it. As for me, I was just bluffing like hell (whenever he wasn't in a hand to try to make a re-bluff) and yet, even though I showed down nothing except bullshit, they'd still fold. It was pretty funny. Example: A straddle is only $4 here, yet it was sooooo tilting to most of the players there. I'd straddle for $4 every time, and then make some bullshit raise to $20 (as long as the Irishman wasn't in) and fold, fold, fold, fold. Finally, they got sick of my shit, so I straddle for $4, buncha limpers, I pick up (don't yell) 6 ♥ 2 ♥ and once again, yeah, you got it, I make it $20 to go, and call, call, call, call, call. God looks after fools and drunks, and perhaps even after coffee-drunk fools, because the flop is, ta dah-- J ♥ 8 ♥ 6 ♥ The disadvantage of being in early position is suddenly once again blazingly obvious to me. I'm the pre-flop raiser in a world full of cluckety cluck chickens. I can't go for the check/raise because it's my job to do the first betting. So I bet the usual 2/3 pot and no one, no one despite seeing me showdown nothing bullshit will call. After everybody folds, I laugh and say, "Six deuce wins again." They don't even know what to do with this information other than get pissed off. Anyhoo, toward the end of the 2 hours I've spent at this "warm-up" exercise" then I'm in the small blind. Again, buncha limpers, and I look down to see 6 ♥ 4 ♥ Yes, I'm aware that I bluff-raised from the straddle only an hour ago, with mostly all the same cast of characters, with 6 ♥ 2 ♥. I'm also aware that, trust me, no one else is paying any attention except for the Irish dude. The rest of the players are completely convinced that we're two blufftards sitting there in that corner getting lucky. It shouldn't -- couldn't -- work again. But I'm getting my extra secret game theory optimal theory hint that it's time to raise and go for another bluff-steal, so.... I make it $20 to go. Big blind folds, three callers. They are punishing me for my loose raises by calling. Cool beans. $85 pot. Yeah, you got it. They're gonna teach me a lesson by making my pot bigger. Tee hee. Flop: 8 ♣ 6 ♣ Q ♥ Hmmm. I has a pair, but I has 3 opponents. I have shitty position, but I has weak opponents. If not, why not? I bet $40. My only caller is an exceptionally tight old white dude. Huh. Turn: A ♥ OK, the turn Ace ain't the best bluff card. Let's say that some dude came in with A6 sooooooted. Then he's got me reverse dominated, if I ever had an Ace to begin with. Well, trust me, honey, THIS old white dude didn't come in after my raise with A6 soooooooooted. I haven't a clue what he has, but I think I can get him off it. I think and I bet $100. To my surprise, he calls. Hmmmmm again. River: A ♦ I have a pair of sixes. This ain't the winner. He's calling me with something. True, if he somehow has the club draw here, then I'm the winner without any risk. THIS weak player is unlikely to bluff his loser to get me off my small pair. But I haven't seen him chase any draws. He's timid. I think he likely has a decent queen or smaller two pair hand. Should I shove all-on to get him off his hand, or would an all-in shove look too "bluffy" even for him? I decide to again bet $100 and after declaring the bet, start cutting out the rest of my pitiful chips as if to call a re-raise. He shows his big laydown to his side of the table and then folds. Tee hee. Anyhoo, it's noon, I'm warmed up, and I move onto 2/5 NL. I don't bother to make any straddles but I'm still never catching a hand. All of my money comes from various well-timed bluffs. I ran two bluffs against a timid man who called the flop, called a big bet on the turn, then didn't try to bluff his missed draw on the river. I simply high-carded the dude. As it happened, a reckless player who could pay off big was sitting to my left. Near the end of the session, when I'd already chipped up, I finally -- yes, ME, finally! -- I believe it or not -- ME! -- I has flopped a set out of position on a two flush, two straight flop, and I have no choice but to play it fast. We go back and forth and I get him to call all of his remaining money on the turn. He never pays off the other middle-aged lady at the table but me? He's seen me showdown nothing but ridiculous hands for four hours, so what choice does he have? I hold on tight, and my set of deuces hold up, and I order a Lemon Drop Martini and float away to join IMOM and D. for dinner at Shanghai Lily. back - next All Rights Reserved, Copyright 2002-2017 by Elaine Radford