PEACHFRONT SPEAKS

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if i was a good talker, i wouldn't be a writer 2009-07-19 - 6:15 p.m. A few days ago on twoplustwo poster Kalins asked: When you put a bad beat on someone...what do you do or say? There's the usual run of nonsense answers, and then this, from Bacats32: This, I mean in all honesty what am I supposed to say. I will tell you this, the only way I put bad beat on someone is because I was semi bluffing and making a move, which made me pot committed or the deck hit me and it was cold decked for him. I mean I wont have to justify catching my king when it was AA vs. KK. Yes it sucks when you get beat that way, as god knows I have been there plenty mysellf, but it wasn't like I made some god awful play and hit the 1 outer on hopes and dreams. And, to be honest, I suspect that's what they all really think, under all the kidding around. They all played good, so they get way more bad beats than they give. In fact, I've heard people say that, right at the table: In the long run, it's good for me that I get more bad beats than I give. It means that I'm playing better. So...can I be the only one who does stupid things and then feels a stinging sense of shame when I get caught doing the stupid thing, especially if it hurts somebody else that I actually like? I guess it doesn't particularly go along with my sense of justice. Stupidity should receive a punishment, and I should take it without complaint, and let's move on to the next hand. But there's a gambling element as well as a skill element to this game, and sometimes stupidity is its own reward. There's obviously something about the way that I dish out bad beats that simply infuriates some people. If I haven't received at least one blistering lecture about my stupidity and my lack of respect for the value of money and about how "Mary don't care," then I have not played poker that day. If I feel I didn't play it all that badly and the person is just being a bad sport, then I guess I don't care. I just let them rant while I giggle and put my hand over my face. Sticks and stones. I do feel that I get significantly more verbal abuse than the other female players, but hey, I can take it. Once you're been shot at, once the house has fallen in on you, once you've driven across the post-apocalyptic wasteland...some kid giving me a good scolding is the least of my worries. He's paying good money for the privilege, so go for it. Now...If I agree that it's possible/likely I played badly or I suspect that my critics avec verbal abusers actually have a point, I write down what I did in the notebook so that I can review the hand later and maybe learn something. And then there are the times that I know for a stone cold fact that I made a terrible, shitty play where I completely humiliated myself with my own stupidity...and then somehow I was saved by the bell. There is nothing deep to be learned, and what else can I do other than say, "Sorry, I obviously didn't know where I was in the hand," "Sorry, I didn't even belong in the hand," or "Sorry, I suck." I did bad, I know I did bad, and I got lucky. I'd rather take the stern talking-to as punishment for my poor play, than to actually lose the pot. If I keep playing like that, I'll get mine, so...next hand, let's move on? Ha. Some of these guys can keep up a discussion of your neurological deficiencies and low level of mental functioning for a solid 10 or 15 minutes. I don't think it helps to keep saying, "Sorry," so I'll say it once or twice and then I'll just put my head down and let them blow off steam. DH says I should think of some witty comebacks, but even if I did think of a witty comeback, I would never ever say it. Verbal wit is not mine. As Stephen King (or was it Doris Lessing?) once said -- I'm paraphrasing -- if I could say it so good to your face, I wouldn't have to be a fucking writer. Anyway, I don't mind so much putting a bad beat on a whiny bad sport. I aspire to take my beats without whining, and I think the other guys should do the same. So if they yell at me, it relieves my guilt some, I guess. They're getting to yell at me for their money, so at least they're not getting completely stiffed. Speaking of the bad sports, here's a funny story from my last trip, which I forgot to write down earlier. It happened so fast that I already forgot who did it, but it was a regular. He was given the seat to my left where he acted immediately after me, so he had position on me. We had just sat down, and he looked at me, and said something along the lines of You'd better behave yourself, because I'm going to give you a good lesson. I just giggle. Then I swear, not five fucking minutes later, he gets a table change. WTF? We haven't even been in a hand together. Not one hand. I look at the Asian dude on the other side of me and say something like, Wow, he says he's going to give me a spanking and then he gets a table change? Don't get me excited like that. Asian dude is soooo not touching that comment with a ten foot pole. Seriously, though, I think if you want to give someone a good lesson at poker, you don't run away the minute you get the perfect seat where you have fucking position on them. Anyway, the guilt definitely comes in when I bad beat someone who is a good sport and also needs the money. (In other words, a pro.) If the guy is just spending his entertainment money anyway, I can't feel bad. That money is going out of his budget some kind of way. But if he's a nice guy and he's living off the income from poker, and I put a beat on him with some shitty play, then I do feel it and don't know what to say. This is where it's good to be on a team, so my first loyalty is to the team and I never get tempted to soft play these guys. Also, it's good that there really aren't that many guys who are both pro players and the strong, silent type who refrain from bitching me out. But there are a few. I was in one hand where I've been just too embarrassed to write it down. There is nothing to be learned except, Don't do stupid things. If I'd done it to another player, I wouldn't care. But this is a super nice, super smart guy who is having a rough time. He played poker to get through college, but now there are no jobs in his field, so he's caught in a trap and has to keep playing. He's living with some other guy, not sure who, but if it's the guy I think, that dude is totally sans money as well. We've played together in both Tunica and Bellagio, so we've seen a lot of each other's play. He's a TAG player, and I think he views me as a frequently tight/solid but sometimes erratic player who gets out of line at random moments. Anyway, the set-up is one of the days when I was winning like God and thought I was immortal and would live forever. I was in the small blind with K6 Offsuit. I might not have the action perfect, but it goes something like, somebody limps, he raises from maybe hijack, a player of the type that peels any flop cold calls, and I'm in the small blind with K6 OFFSUIT so any sane person would fold this dominated hand against a good player, and I call anyway. Maybe the big blind calls too, limper calls, nice multi-way pot. Flop is K, Q, some random rag. OK, I did a stupid thing, and I put money in the pot with a stupid hand. And now I can't even get away. I'm going to have to take the beating I deserve for being in the hand in the first place. Yeah, yeah, we all know what Sklansky says. Well, I would like to see Sklansky play my hand from my position and follow his own advice. (FOLD!) Not that he'd be in my hand from my position in the first fucking place...He'd be drifting around the sports book watching all the pretty ponies. I don't even remember the flop action. Does it matter? Probably it's something like I check, more checks, nice guy bets, guy who peels with any two cards calls, so I have a decision. With no kick, and a bettor and a caller, Sklansky says I should fold. But I should fold because one of the two has a K with a better kicker. And I just have no fucking way of knowing if that's the case, because of my own poor play. I'm faced with a C-bet and an ATC peeler. Hey, my top pair might just be the best hand. So I call. Some other dudes fold. (And yes...all the way from here, I can hear all the howls of Protect your hand, you donkey but do I really need to protect my pair of Ks against 3 A outs? If I had a smaller pair, I might have played differently, but that's a side issue. This hand was not won or lost on failure to protect one's pair.) Turn is another K. Interesting. There are three Ks out, which greatly reduces the chances that the other guy has a K. So I'm ahead and I should bet. But if he does have a K, I'm beat because there's no way in hell he raised pre-flop with a hand less than KT which stomps my K6 into the dirt and then grinds it around a little. Also, there's a third man in the pot. Now what? Maybe I can check/raise and trap them both for an extra bet with my trip Ks. Notice that I've got some serious double think going on here...but anyways...I check, nice guy bets, other dude folds, and now I don't know if there is any value to raising. I raise, he folds unless I'm beat, right? So I just call. There's no third dude to trap for extra bets. River is who knows. Nothing's changed. I don't have to angst about a check behind if I check, because he thinks I pay off too much on the river, so if he has anything at all, he'll bet for value. So I check, he bets, I call. He has a Queen something, I dunno, think it was AQ. I turn over K6 offsoot and say, "Sorry, I suck." I beat him with crap and because of my passive play, he doesn't even know that it's coming. I officially feel like the worst person in the world. He doesn't say anything, he just gives me the hurt puppy dog eyes. It hurts a lot more than the verbal abuse I usually get in that situation. So I guess he knows what he's doing. For more inane poker maunderings, you can check out my index. back - next All Rights Reserved, Copyright 2002-2017 by Elaine Radford